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 Last Update: 25 Aug 2017

- New Element Discovered -

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

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Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known. The new element has been named “Governmentium”  (symbol:  "Gv").

The nuclear structure of the new element has some unique properties. The nucleus has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called “morons”, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called “peons”.

Governmentium has no electrons, making it inert, but it carries a large ionic charge, which makes it easily detectable with simple instrumentation.

Because of its strong ionic behavior, it dramatically impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

For example, a minute amount of Govermentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years. However, it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons exchange places.

Recent observations of this element have conclusively documented the fact that Govermentium is the first element to display the property of rapid self-multiplication. A measured amount of Governmentium will actually increase over time, because each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This unique property, called “moron-promotion”, leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothesized level is referred to as “critical morass”.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium transforms into Administratium (symbol: "Ad"), an element which radiates greater energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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